you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
