DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
