i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize