you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
