if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
