I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he was CRYING into my vagina
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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