I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
