How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
