Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
