You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you made out with another girl for some wings
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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