i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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