So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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