I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
