talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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