All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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