He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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