I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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