oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
