Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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