Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
