Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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