No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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