ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night