My first STD was from a foam party
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.