At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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