omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
FUCK WHALES
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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