More tranny stories later!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
