so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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