she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
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You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize