She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
