I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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