would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
