I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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