If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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