Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
