john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
