I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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