no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
