Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just cut my nipple shaving
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
