last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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