There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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