I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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