Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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