if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
