living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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