Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize