did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
