i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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