youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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