PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
