it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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