Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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