wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
