Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
wow bdsm is so cute
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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