why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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