How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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