We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
