i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
