He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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