tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
