what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.