so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?