I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?