Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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