Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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