I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i've created a new STD.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
