Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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